Mi name is Francisco and I live in Sitges (Barcelona). In Spain there are 572.088 people named Francisco. This is why I decided to make this section, so that you can know me a bit more. Important notice: Actually there are not 100 things. This is because of Thing Number 1 you should know about me. Let’s start:
The 100 things everybody should know about me, in no specific order.
1. I am lazy. Quite lazy. See below.
2. I am so lazy that sometimes I don’t have lunch just to avoid walking the scarce fifty meters that there are between my apartment and the supermarket.
3. It’s thanks to lazy people like me the reason why the world evolves. If there were no lazy people in the world, neither the car, neither the telephone would have been invented. Laziness is a virtue, not a fault.
4. I don’t like… Or rather, I really hate that people who receive a message like this: “Microsoft and IBM have detected an extremely dangerous virus, blah, blah, your files will be deleted, your mobile phone will blow up in your pants, it will grow hair in your face, blah, blah, please forward to all the people you know”. You know what they do next, don’t you? They forward the message to the entire address book. Including me. I hate them.
5. By the same token, I hate people whose preferred task is to forward messages. There is no need to forward me every f@ck#ng joke your friend sends to you
6. When it comes to pleasure, nothing is comparable to have a chilled (smooth) beer and Spanish brave potatoes in a sunny day on the beach.
7. I support FC Barcelona. I don’t like football very much. But when I see someone who really enjoys with football then I like football too. It’s basically envy.
I cannot drink hot water. I can’t bear anything containing hot water. The aforesaid includes tea, coffee and hot milk. There is an exception. For some unidentified cause I can drink soup. During a plane trip some sort of cosmic radiation genetically modified me so that I now enjoy a lot drinking tea.
9. I don’t trust the microwave. I never had one, I don’t have one and I will never have one. A magnet constantly changing from positive to negative 2500 million times per second cannot be good for the food.
10. One thing I really love about some people is their capacity to communicate to others without having to speak. One look, one facial expression and you know exactly what he/she means to say. It’s some sort of mental telepathy.
11. I’m extremely curious. When I was a child my mother gave me as a present a voice controlled robot. I was so amazed with the damn robot that I disassembled it the same day. Just to know what the hell was inside. You can imagine my mom’s grim face when she witnessed the scene: Her little kid holding a screwdriver and the robot scattered over the whole room. I tried to reassemble the robot, but I couldn’t manage to do it properly, there were some parts left over. Needless to say that the robot never functioned again. But I still keep it.
12. My eyes are big. Now it’s ok because my head has grown too. However when I was a kid my head was proportionally smaller but my eyes looked like enormous, and it was a nightmare. The other kids nicknamed me owl. My mother kept on saying I was only eyes. So I think I got traumatized because I was walking down the street with my eyes half closed. Especially if a nice girl was looking at me.
13. Sometimes I think about the origin of the universe and this stuff. They say space is infinite, but I don’t get to understand how it can be possible. If the universe had an origin like the Big Bang then there was an instant sometime in the past when the entire universe mass was concentrated in a single point. They also say that the universe has been expanding. The question is: If light speed is the maximum absolute speed a particle can reach, the first particles might be at a finite distance of the initial blast. How can be infinite the universe then?
14. I have always wished to be strong. But I have been to gyms and after a month I look at myself in the mirror and apparently nothing happened. So I end up giving up. Last Minute Note: Definitively I’m starting again within next week.
15. It can be said about me that I’m a perfectionist. This is sometimes a problem rather than an aid because I want to do everything perfect at the first time and I can’t hand in them on time. But when you achieve it, when you look at your creation, it really tells you something. There is a message implied. Perfection is a powerful message.
16. There are a lot of things I don’t know and I’d like to. The problem is nobody knows the majority of them so I cannot ask anyone. It is curious because if I know I will never get the answers then why I keep looking for them? I wish I knew it all.
17. Sometimes, lying in my bed, analyzing my short life, I realize that there are a percentage of people who never have seen me sober. Because they only meet me when I go out at nights on special dates. I wonder what they will think about me.
18. The above makes me reflect that normally I’m very serious. When I first know someone I never joke. But later, when I have trust I love joking and laughing with them. My jokes are somewhat weird and people find them strange when they don’t know me.
19. My girlfriend is always wondering how come she is so cute and I am so ugly. I always tell her that this is because in this life everyone obtains what deserves. She smiles at me then.
20. I have 3 brothers. We are 4 boys, a nightmare for my mother. Four little demons running up and down the house. I never got bored when I was a little boy. We used to exchange objects. I used to go to my brother’s room and tell him: “I want to exchange this”. Then we started negotiations. It was like business training or something like this. In hard times, when we were angry at each other we performed the ‘General Change Back Procedure’ i.e. everyone recovered his things like in the initial situation. Then in peace time we started trading again. It was a cycle.
21. Maybe I have split personality. Someone inside me says I have a mission to do. He tells me I have to build something. I still don’t know what that thing I have to build is. The only thing I know is that I’m going to build something big. Something that is important, but I don’t know for who. I studied Civil Engineering because he told me that I needed to learn this before building that thing.
22. I like microscopes and telescopes. I could spend hours looking through the eyepiece. If I had time I would buy a big telescope to search galaxies and nebulas and send messages to alien civilizations. “I come in peace”, I would tell them.
23. If someone would tell me one day: “Choose: Travel for your whole life or stay here (Spain) forever” I would call my mother to inform her I’m leaving.
24. On the other hand, the more I travel, the more I understand my father’s words: “Son, there is no better place than Spain”. Is not only the place, it’s the food, the people, the lifestyle. Anyway I enjoy travelling and knowing new places, cultures and people. And beers sorry, I forgot that.
25. On Fridays and Saturdays nights I do the same as other guys of my age: Drinks and sex (talking about).
26. I smoke quite a lot. Say between 10 and 20 a day, depending on whether I go out or not. I have tried to quit seriously 3 times. Result: Tobacco 3 – Francisco 0. UPDATE: Now I smoke hand rolling tobacco and since I have to roll the cigarettes I’m smoking just two or three a day. I told you, laziness is a virtue. I should quit but half a loaf is better than none. UPDATE 2: I finally quit! :)
27. When I was a child I had a bulging on my forehead. I always hit me in the bulging when I fell to the ground. Household remedy of my father: Attaching a coin on my forehead with tape. Every time I fell to the ground the bulging got flatten. Now I don’t have any bulging, just a scar. My father is a genius.
28. I don’t follow any known religion. It can be said that I have my own religion. All religions I know have something I don’t like. They use the fear of the people to threaten them. More or less I know where the light side and the dark side of the force are. I try not to hurt people, I don’t always bring off, but just like the rest of the world. I have seen very religious people doing evil and non religious people doing the good. There is no black and white, it’s all grey.
29. One thing I would like to do is to work on an Offshore Platform in the North Sea. Isolated during 6 months. Just me and the sea. I love the sea. I could spend hours just watching it. You never get bored. On the other I respect it; it can be very dangerous to swim in the sea sometimes.
30. Given the chance I could stay in bed sleeping all day long. For further information see Thing 1.
31. I’m right-handed but I cut with the left hand. They tell me why I do that if I am right-handed. But for me is more logical to hold the fork in the right hand if I am right-handed. Because I have to hit the target (my mouth) with the fork. It’s a precision task, and such tasks should be carried out by a trained hand. If I fail to cut with my left hand I repeat, but if I fail to hit the target with the fork I end up with three or four holes in my lips. Am I wrong?
32. Profession/career: When I was younger I wished to be pump attendant in a gas station. Just because I liked the smell of the fuel.
33. I’m addicted to Playstation 2. In other words: When I’m playing PS2 don’t phone me. One day, playing Metal Gear Solid II, the game stopped and told me that I had been playing for 5 hours and refused to let me continue. Me and my brothers used to play GT3 (Gran Turismo 3) and at the end of the game we had a car running at 1500 km/h. We gave up that game because we won all races.
34. I HATE going shopping with women. It gets me nervous when they start trying on half the shop. And sometimes it is only for fun, they don’t truly want to buy anything. What the hell of fun is that? When I go shopping my usual speech is this: I want shoes, size European 42, black colour. End of shopping, returning home.
35. I like pure malt whisky: Macallan, Knockando, Glenmorangie, whatever. On the rocks, no water. My mother told me in certain occasion that when I was a kid she poured a spurt of whisky in my milk because I was very nervous and she wanted me sleeping. No wonder I like it so much now. UPDATE: The other day my mother phoned me and told me why I am saying such a thing. She says it wasn’t whisky. Now she says it was syrup. Suspicious at least.
36. I was nervous, but my brother Carlos was an evil. My mother used to tie him with a rope in a chair. One night I went to my brother’s Carlos bed and it looked like he was sleeping, but actually beneath the blanket there were a lot of cushions and pillows. He escaped through the window and went to a Night Club. At the age of 14.
37. Oh, it makes me remember that I wasn’t precisely a saint. When I was eight I woke up early to go to the school, but instead of that I fired up a comic and burned my bedspread. When I realized what I had just done I went to my brother’s bed and I changed my burned bedspread for his.
38. I always wished to wear glasses (goggles) in elementary school. Even though my sight was perfect I told my mother I needed glasses. We went to the ophthalmologist and he told my mother “Your son can perceive a fly 3 miles away”. Hmm this people really know what they do.
39. My favourite food is my grandmother’s cannelloni. Last year I wanted to write down the recipe. But ultimately it proved to be impossible. Because my grandma does not use IS units (IS stands for International System Units, i.e. millilitres (ml), grams (g), etc…). And how are you going to write down a proper recipe using “a short spurt of this, a handful of that” and so on. Impossible. After having stopped to think about the solution I decided that it was less effort recording it on video. So I went that way.
40. If there is something that I’ve learned of late years is that no matter how many times life knocks you down. If you stand up enough times at the end you always achieve your objective. Constancy! Tenacity! Perseverance! Persistence! Go for it! Get it all!
41. I like nearly all kind of music, from classical to dance, from 60s to 90s. But I usually change the TV channel when I see those “Call Troys” (Note: A Call Troy is a character or group of characters literally invented/created every year by the discography industry and targeted to the teenagers singing synthetic nonsense love songs that not even their strongest fans remember after a year). For further information about Call Troys please watch the movie “The Adventures of Ford Fairline”.
42. Along with Laura I often analyze ants’ behaviour in her mother’s house. Ants are very curious insects. We have classified visible ants in Explorers, Informers and Food-Carriers. It’s very easy to tell one from the other. Explorers or Pathfinders always go alone. If an Explorer finds a source of food its behaviour changes and becomes an Informer. Then not only it will remember the way back but every time it meets another ant it will inform the other ant where the source of food is (supposedly bearing and distance). Then both ants are now Informers and inform 2 more ants. The number of ants informed raises in geometrical progression. A full colony of 1000 ants can be informed in just 10 encounters or less than half an hour. I may publish my discoveries in National Geographic one of these days.
43. At times (most of all when someone is giving me instructions while driving a car) I have difficulties to discern which is the left and the right hand. Psychologists name it a laterality problem but my father reduces the problem saying I’m a prize idiot.
44. I am always complaining of lack of time. This planet was not made for me. Ideally, the day cycle should have 36 hours.